Finally, Captain Jack and the rest of the crew are back with Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. After the long hiatus, we are treated with the same fun and action-packed scenes from our favorite Pirates franchise.
IGN: The last film – At World’s End – made a mint at the box office, but was pilloried for its crippling run-time and confusing plot. On Stranger Tides pulls back on the former and untangles the latter, but still fails to hit the effortlessly entertaining heights of the original Pirates flick, Curse of the Black Pearl.
Johnny Depp reprises his Oscar-nominated turn as the irrepressible Jack Sparrow, who bizarrely starts the film in judge’s robes, presiding over the trial of former partner-in-crime Gibbs who – following a potentially deadly case of mistaken identity – is on trial for being… Jack Sparrow.
There follows a spectacular chase scene through the streets of London and a brief bit of banter with his old sparring partner Barbossa (now peg-legged and working for King George as a privateer) before Jack finally reaches his natural habitat – the sea – and the story starts proper.
And while the plot isn’t as labyrinthine as either part two or three, it still takes some explaining, with multiple characters endeavouring to enlighten the audience, but sounding more like Basil Exposition from the Austin Powers movies than people having real conversations.
The central quest revolves around the legendary ‘Fountain of Youth’, with Captains Sparrow and Barbossa competing with a (somewhat pointless and ineffective) fleet of Spanish ships to reach the mythical, life-restoring water.
But there are inevitable obstacles in the way, the most immediate of which is Penelope Cruz as Angelica, a beautiful, manipulative, deadly pirate with whom Sparrow has crossed swords in a previous life. Bickering former lovers who are just as likely to kill as kiss each other, Cruz is an entertaining foil for Depp, although her motives remain unconvincing throughout.
Another spanner thrown into the works is Blackbeard, captain of the Queen Ann’s Revenge, and the pirate that all others apparently fear. Played by Ian McShane – best known to U.S. audiences for Deadwood and U.K. audiences for Lovejoy – he certainly looks the part with his piercing eyes and leathery skin. But this Blackbeard never truly strikes fear into the heart, his voodoo dolls little more than a novelty; his zombified crew more ill-tempered annoyance than terrifying incarnation of the walking dead.
Far more effective are the film’s mermaids, a new addition to the series and responsible for Pirates’ one truly stand-out moment. This mesmeric sequence introduces the stunning sea creatures in all their ethereal beauty before unleashing their furious brutality, and is a genuine show-stopper that’s over all-too-soon.
It’s at his point that the film loses all sense of momentum, proceedings slowing down to a snail’s pace as characters cross and double-cross each other as they navigate their way across an island in search of the mythical water.
This passage isn’t helped by an entirely unconvincing romance developing between mermaid-with-a-heart-of-gold Syreena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) and dull-as-dishwater missionary Philip (Sam Clafin). Clearly designed to fill the void left by franchise ever-presents Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, the attractive-but-underwritten pair bring nothing to the party short of allowing Depp to make a good ‘missionary position’ gag, and commit the heinous crime of actually making you miss Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley.
There are fun discoveries along the way, including the shocking fate of the Black Pearl, the revelation of Sparrow’s time spent in a convent, and the now-inevitable appearance of Keith Richards as Captain Teague, himself endeavouring to explain a plot-point involving a pair of chalices.
But it all ends in somewhat underwhelming fashion, bowing out with a whimper rather than a bang and leaving loose ends flapping like sails in the wind.
Director Rob Marshall – replacing Gore Verbinski and hitherto best known for Chicago and Nine – does his best with the material, but seems more at home with the comedy and drama than the action for which the series is famed.
Indeed, the aforementioned chase scene and mermaid attack aside, Marshall’s action seems over-choreographed and under-cooked, having more in common with the dance sequences for which he made his name that the more spectacular jaw-droppers from the previous flicks.
Johnny Depp is on typically fine form as Sparrow, but one can’t help but feel that his rock star-pirate shtick is looking a little tired this time around, with Geoffrey Rush’s Barbossa fast-becoming the most interesting and entertaining character in the series.
And while the run-time is down on part three’s colossal 169 minutes, it still clocks in at a butt-numbing 136, which could have been trimmed had a more brutal approach been taken to the young romance and the involvement of the Spanish fleet in the edit suite.
Overall, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is way better than At World’s End. It’s more entertaining, maybe because of the mermaids and Cruz. What do you think?
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